Someone Else's Shoes 

From time to time, I play this game in my head. What would it be like to be someone else? 

This isn't born of contempt for my own life, or a coveting of others. More of a curiosity. If we're all part of the same jigsaw puzzle, what is that guy's piece of the puzzle like? I've played the game in the grocery store, the park, in a slow meeting, and sometimes watching TV images of faraway places. What do they eat for breakfast? What is their home like? Are they married? Do they have children and how do they feel about them? Do they have health issues? Do they read? What is their deepest, darkest secret?

Maybe it's just the writer in me, looking for a story. A way to slip into someone's shoes and take them for a ride. I'm pretty sure I know what I'd find. That, with some extreme exceptions (your Hitler types, for example) we're all built pretty much the same way.

We all want a safe, happy home life with those we love around us. We want good health. We want to be comfortable financially. We want to be happy in our work. We want our team to win. We want to feel good about ourselves. We want a measure of peace in our lives.

Understanding this brings with it the question: If we're all so much alike, why aren't we kinder to each other? Why are we cutting each other off in traffic or itching to run over those who get in our way? If we all want essentially the same things, why do we torment those who look different or those who take a different path to achieve the same goals? (Presupposing, of course, that their path harms no one else.)

The thing about imagining yourself in someone else's shoes is that you are imagining, you don't really know. You can't really know because even if you could step into their life for a day, you wouldn't feel the same way they do because you haven't had all of their life experiences.

So...maybe we don't know as much as we think we do about the folks around us. Maybe they've endured horrors we will never understand. Maybe they're just not thoroughly equipped to deal with this world. Maybe they have pain in shades of red and orange that we cannot fathom.

Maybe we should cut the world -- and ourselves -- a little slack. And yes, by "we" I mean "me, too."