Keeping the Faith

I would describe myself as an Unorthodox Christian, but I'm not even sure I'm a Christian. So I'll just stick with "Unorthodox."

Roman Catholicism was the flavor of faith I was born into. I attended six years of parochial school and, at the insistence of my parents, occupied a pew at mass every Sunday. Between marriages, I lapsed, but picked it up again post-annulment and pre-baby. (My husband wanted us to raise our child in the church.) When my son came of age, I began to drift away once again. I found myself going through the motions. I liked the atmosphere of church, the peaceful quiet, the comforting smells, the angels on the ceiling and the stained glass windows. But I just didn't feel much of anything during the service. A few months ago when I was having one of those early morning drills where my brain wouldn't shut off, I dragged myself out of bed and went to mass at 6 am. Kind of like trying on an old pair of shoes to see if they still fit. They didn't.

It's not that I don't believe that spirituality is critical in one's life. I'm just not sure what form that spirituality should take for me. 

So, what do I believe? That rather than being an external force, God exists within each of us. I believe we are all part of the same vibe, so when we hurt someone else, we are really hurting ourselves. Conversely, just a little kindness on everyone's part goes a long way toward healing the world. I believe everyone has a right to be happy, no matter how they look or whom they love. I believe those who have gone before us still live in our hearts, and they will talk to us if only we will listen. I believe there is a lot more going on than we will ever tap into. But  I am going to try. Because I believe that elusive whatever-it-is is worth it.

I don't expect others to believe the same way I do. My wish would be that everyone find peace in their own lives, no matter what God and/or Goddesses drive (or don't drive) their faith. I hate to drag out the old chestnut about life being too short. But, of course, it is.

And finding shoes that fit is really what it's all about.