Random Acts of Not Being a Douchebag

There are plenty of books and blogs and articles about doing little kindnesses for one another. Holding open a door, sharing a smile, or helping an elderly neighbor with their groceries. All of these efforts are good and deserving of a pat on the back. But I contend it is often what you DON'T do that can make a big difference, too.

Here are just a few examples of little things you can do to spare your fellow travelers irritation and/or wrath:

1. Allow sufficient room between the back bumper ahead of you and your front bumper. Tailgating someone does NOT make them go faster. And neither you or the person ahead of you wants you to end up in their trunk after a sudden stop. Suggestion: Put on some music, ease back, and realize that getting to your destination 30 seconds later will not ruin your life.

2. It is impossible not to overhear private phone conversations. It IS rude to comment on them -- unless your teenager is on one end of the phone and you hear something that sets off alarm bells (e.g. "I have the roach clips." or "How far along are you?" or "Do you think we'd get suspended for that?")

3. Unless you are Greg Lamond or there is not a bike path/lane in the park, please don't ride your bicycle in the street. I know, I know, they are really pushing for cars to share the roadway with bicycles, but I'm afraid it's just a matter of time until we start to see a rash of injuries. On a curvy road, you can't see what's up ahead, and unless the road is wide enough, it's tough to pass safely without veering into the oncoming lane. This makes for a dangerous situation, even at low speeds.

4. Don't line-jump. And if a new lane opens up, offer the person in front of you the opportunity to go first. Waiting your turn is a Kindergarten 101 skill that many people have forgotten.

5. The scratchy paper toilet seat cover that delicate folks use for their derrieres is, alas, not reusable. That's why they call it "disposable." Please don't leave it behind. (Pun intended.)

6. Recycle. I know I covered this in another blog, but it bears repeating. If there are two containers side-by-side and all you have to do is put your plastic bottle in the recycle container and you don't, I'm sorry, but you are a douchebag. No exceptions.

7. Don't let your child run through parking lots. Ever. Don't assume they are going to see the moving car or that the driver is going to see them. God invented hands for a reason. Use them to hold on tight.

8. In social situations, do not leave a half of something in the bakery box. It does not make you look like you are concerned about your weight. It makes you look like you didn't want to be the douchebag who took the last donut. It doesn't work.

9. Don't walk on the left side of a sidewalk/hallway, even if you're going around a corner and it's three steps shorter. You will run into someone, possibly with a hot coffee in their hand. And it will take you a lot longer to wash the coffee stain out of your shirt than it would have to walk the extra three steps. (No exceptions for the British. You can drive how you like in your country, but walk that way here at your own peril.)

10. Don't be cheap with a tip if the service was good. Our fellow travelers who serve us well deserve their reward. An extra buck or two isn't going to make nearly as much of a difference to you as it will to them. If you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip well.

Only 10 things that can make a person a douchebag? No, not really. Just 10 examples. Now, I have to go wash out my cereal bowl. It understandably upsets my husband (who washes the dishes) when I leave Cream of Wheat encrusted in the bowl. And I don't want to end up on his douchebag list!