Don't Fence Me In

Folks are naturally averse to being caged, incarcerated, walled or fenced in. American settlers kept a-movin' across the land until they had infested every acre of this vast county. The irony, of course, is that they sequestered their predecessors on reservations, thereby relieving them of their freedom to move about the country.

As long as there have been fences and walls and prisons, there have been people going around them or over them or breaking out of them.

Which is why I think it's hilarious that some think it's a great idea to put up a fence on our southern border.

And what do they point to as the poster child for successful restraint? The Great Wall of China. The fortress that took countless lives in the building, cost untold sums of money and stretched for thousands of miles. It was built to keep the Mongols out. As a structure, it's a wonder of the world.

The six million dollar question is...did it restrain the Mongols? Were the Chinese able to fight off the vicious invaders from a position of strength? Did the Mongols manage to breach the wall?

Nope. They bribed their way in.

So, what have we learned from this little history lesson? Nothing, apparently. Except that walls don't stop people. Nor do fences. Even when they have big red signs with words like "DANGER" and "KEEP OUT" and "YOU'LL GET HIT IN THE HEAD AND KILLED BY THAT BIG, FAST, GAZILLION-POUND ROLLER COASTER IF YOU COME IN HERE." (So tell me, friend, what kind of reception does your cell phone get in heaven?)

If people want to get past the barriers, they will. And putting up a wall or a fence isn't going to stop them.

So what would keep people from entering the U.S.?

Well, you could put Trump at the border and tell the potential emigres that our country is seriously considering him for president.

That might just do it!