Who's Zooming Whom?

During the Cold War, Mad Magazine came up with two characters, blackbirds, one with a white coat, the other a black coat, that were part of a running series called Spy vs. Spy.

The pair were constantly trying to outwit one another, but their efforts mostly backfired on themselves.

This image comes to mind often these days as I observe marketers vying for my attention/hard earned money.

Telemarketing, I am sad to say, is alive and, if not well, is still chugging along. Mr. Ginley has developed a series of ways to deal with these calls. I have no patience, I just hang up as soon as I realize I don't know the caller. He, on the other hand, engages in mind games.

For example, when "John" from "Windows" calls, he tells them we don't have a computer. Or that our windows are nice and shiny clean and work just fine.

When he gets a robocall, he looks around the room and responds to their questions with random words. "Ottoman." Or "Gnome." Or "Kitties."

Once, when asked for his opinion on a political poll, he skewed it by answering the opposite way of how he really felt.

All in an effort to throw off marketers, who are trying to figure out what we are all about.

On Google, we will randomly search for something we have no interest in. For weeks afterward, we will be solicited for products related to Mr. Potato Head, Jheri-Curl wig or Pajamagrams.

Sometimes, I will go to Amazon  and put something in my cart, just to see if they will come back and ding me about it later. And if the price will go down when they do.

Oftentimes, you can shop around on a website, and they will offer you a percentage off for a first-time purchase. We saved $8 just this week on free shipping for an item we purchased.

On the plus side, my spam filter has become more effective at weeding out junk mail. So I don't have to deal with offers to be my f*** buddy.

I imagine this game has gone on since long before the pyramids were built. Marketing, in one form or another, is an ancient practice that's only grown more sophisticated over time.

The trick is to recognize that you're being courted and take advantage of your suitor, as much as possible.

Where it all gets scary is when institutions like your health care provider get involved. There's a bill that's been proposed whereby insurance companies can require you to test your DNA to see if you're likely to have health problems, and then, presumably, charge you more. More up-my-grill tactics from a government that insists it doesn't want to be in my business.

What's a body to do?

This body will do its best by leading wild goose chases and such.

It's a pyrrhic victory, at best.

Sometimes, that is all we get in this life.