Buy Buy Baby

"Do you notice any difference," my husband asked.

He took them off and handed them to me. I put on the yellow-tinted glasses and looked out onto the road.

"Nope," I replied. The street lights are more yellowy but it doesn't improve my night vision any.

And so, once again, we are disappointed by an "As Seen on TV" miracle product.

Like our ancestors, who also perhaps fell prey at some time or another to snake oil salesmen, Mr. Ginley and I have purchased our share of highly-touted products that did not deliver as promised. In spite of the claims by the ordinary-looking folks on TV who swore they were the best thing EVER.

Of course, being in advertising myself, I should know better. But something primal within me wants to believe that the Ginsu will be the best knife I've ever owned. (Not so much.) And Mr., who begged to try the amazing callous remover was quite disappointed. He inserted the batteries, turned it on, and watched the roller spin around...until he pressed it to the heel of his foot. At which point it stopped. Pulled it away, it spun, touched his foot it stopped. It was good for comic relief, but not much else.

A few years ago, I got caught up in a demonstration by a guy who was shredding cheese with a battery-operated gadget. I was mesmerized. Mr. Ginley whispered it my ear, "You won't be able to get it to work the way he does."

"But it also comes with all those attachments, and look, he's giving away free apple corers, and look at how nifty they are."

I feel only slightly better knowing that being a sap for these pitches runs in Mr. Ginley's family, too. His mom once purchased a set of encyclopedias from a door-to-door salesman.  His dad managed to halt the delivery of the entire set, but they let her keep the first volume. (Henceforth, when he and his siblings wrote reports for school, the subject had to begin with the letter "A.")

We're getting a little better. The other day, when Mr. Ginley paused at the "As Seen on TV" wall at the store, he said, "I wonder if Joe could use this antenna-thingy. It says it picks up all of the local channels, and he doesn't have cable, so it could come in pretty handy."

I pulled out my phone and asked the Google if it was any good. Nope.

And thus, I was able to save us a few clams.

But if we ever see a Car Cane, I'm pretty sure he's going to make me buy one.