They're Trying to Sleigh Me

It's an occupational hazard, I presume, that causes me to watch television commercials.

While others may turn away or run to the loo, I sit and watch until the bitter end. Particularly during the holiday season.

What amazes me is the number of car commercials. A seemingly endless parade, in fact. A phenomenon which didn't exist (or wasn't as overt) back in the day.

People must buy cars and trucks and SUVs for Christmas, I have to assume, otherwise, it wouldn't pay to advertise them. But it's something that I -- a baby boomer from a modest middle-class family -- cannot fathom.

One in particular has nettled Mr. Ginley since it first began to play. A woman walks into her kitchen with two small indistinct objects in her hand, sets them on the counter, and says, "I did a little early shopping this year." Her husband picks up the object, makes a dismissive comment about it, and says, "I did a little early shopping, too." Whereupon the husband leads the wife back outside to show her two mammoth trucks (his and hers). Except that, in a moment of high hilarity, she chooses the black one, which everybody knows is the boy's. He shrugs and acquiesces to his wife (clearly, playing the role of the little rich girl who always gets her way), and settles on the candy apple red because, "I like red, too."

The best part, at least for Mr. Ginley, is the teeny tiny type at the bottom of the ad that states the sticker price for these behemoths is over $50,000 apiece.

Where do I begin?

First and foremost, of course, how many people spend $100,000 on Christmas? Then, what guy hands over $100,000, then backs down when his wife chooses the $50,000 monstrosity he has his heart set on? Finally, how did the wife miss seeing these two goliaths in her driveway?

I cannot remember what brand of trucks these things were. I suppose it could be argued that if I coveted such things, I would recall. But to me, all the vehicle ads look pretty much alike, they all have their own little bells and whistles, and I know I'm not going to buy one, so I really don't care.

On the other hand, if you're spending a gajillion dollars to create and air a commercial, shouldn't it be memorable, not just for its content, but for who created that content?

Come to think of it, there aren't a lot of jingles or memorable tag lines these days, either.

Said the old-timer who can still sing, "See the USA in a Chevrolet."

Where have you gone, Don Draper?