Excuses, Excuses

For all my faithful readers out there (all two of you), I hereby submit a humble apology for the delay in the publication of this week's pile of drivel.

Excuse #2

I would like to say that I have a good excuse. Alas, I do not.

Instead, I present the following lame excuses for my tardiness.

1. I overslept
Actually, Maggie woke me up by kneading her claws in my pillow. I got up and fed her, retrieved the newspaper and thought about writing my blog. But the warm cocoon of my bed won out, and I headed back to the rack to saw off a few more logs.

2. I had breakfast with my kid
Normally, we break bread on Sunday morning, but this week, Saturday was more convenient for my offspring. So we met at our usual place. I had the oatmeal. He, breaking with tradition, had an omelet. None of this had anything to do with cranking out a blog, it was just a pleasant distraction.

3. There was a long line at the post office
You'd think a post-holiday visit to the local P.O. would be quick. Who mails stuff after Christmas? I found at least six folks who did. They were all in line in front of me. Including one gentlemen who wanted to purchase 200 stamps. I didn't know the cost of a stamp is about to go up. Which is why the postal clerk was out of rolls. And why the purchaser of said 200 stamps had to review a dozen different designs of stamps on sheets and do the math to figure out how many of each design he was going to purchase. "Don't you have any with flowers?" Then the lady who needed money orders. The woman with two bored spawns sitting on the floor who had to be dragged off to make way for the next patron. Three inquiries. Then my turn to post my sister, Diane's, package and a bunch of other mail. (Diane, if you're reading this, the package is due to arrive Monday.)

4. Lunch at KFC
A girl's gotta eat. As does her partner in crime. Was it a healthy lunch? No. Don't judge. The Colonel wouldn't like it.

5. Returning library books
No one wants to get a threatening email from an indignant librarian who wants her stuff back.

6. The lost hat
Now found, thanks to a return trip to the library parking lot.

Excuse #7

7. A needy cat
"Pet me, Mom! Pet me, Mom! Pet me, Mom!" Could you resist? I don't think so.

8. Nap time
Sleep is good. Do you sense a recurring theme here? See excuse #1.

9. Dinner
Another recurring theme. See #4.

10. T&T
My plan was to use this as my last excuse. I was all set to mix up a Tanqueray and Tonic (and since it isn't prudent to drink and blog, I wouldn't have to write anything for the rest of the night). Mr. Ginley squelched this plan when he insisted I haul my ass in the office and get cracking.

I have to admit, this incentive to write before I could partake worked just fine, and I found myself flying through this at record time.

Slàinte!