"Everyone has a crew," she croons. "A stone-cold, never-blink, walk-in-slow-motion crew. Three rows built for everyone. Leave no one behind."
Some kind of rap music is playing in the background, while "crews" of modern hipsters, dressed to the nines and decked out in lots of bling, settle themselves in and toodle around the city on their glamorous excursions to places I will never be.
Well, okay, I just got left behind.
Ya, I get it, I'm not their audience. But I get a little torked when ads say "everyone." Because clearly their "everyone" is the top 10% of the population. The young folks I know are paying off student loans and getting by. The people closer to my age group are wondering if they will ever be able to retire comfortably.
As to having a crew, no.
Although, come to think of it, I do have five siblings. So I suppose you could say we make up a "crew." "Stone cold"? Well, it is winter in this neck of the woods. "Never blink" might be tricky. But the "walk-in-slow-motion" thing? Sure, we can do that, easy-peasy.
Wait, let me set my mind picture here. If I replace "Big Blue," our 1966 Chevy Impala station wagon, with a Cadillac SUV, I can envision the six of us cruising along. Paul and I will whine because, as usual, we will not get window seats. One of us will get queasy, then the person in the passenger seat will hand that person a small garbage bag and tell the rest of us to open the windows and not think about it, which won't work, and soon we'll all be queasy.
No need to leave anyone behind!
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