Peevish Trafficking

One of the things I love about my job is that I can work from  home. 

photo attribution below

This means that I no longer burst into tears when the Shell bill arrives every month. 

It also means my tolerance for driving has been depleted significantly.

I was pondering this the other day as I waited for a traffic light to change, an activity which is among my pet peeves. Sitting there, I began to wonder when it all started and why we don't have universal traffic signals.

Climb into the Wayback Machine with me.

The first traffic light showed up in London in 1868, directing horse-drawn vehicles across Westminster Bridge. It was a semaphore-style traffic signal, powered by gaslight. Alas, the device was short-lived, blowing up in 1869 and injuring the police officer who was operating it.

In the early part of the 20th Century, Americans picked up the "stop" and "go" semaphore-style signals, using kerosene lamps to illuminate the signs at night. At this point, however, the signal still had to be manually operated. 

Lester Wire, a Utah policeman, invented the first electric traffic light in 1912. The signal was installed at East 105th Street in Euclid. 

The traffic light's design continued to evolve by baby steps. Bells were added to caution drivers that the light was changing. But it wasn't until 1923 when Garret Morgan, a Black inventor with an elementary school education, received a patent for the three-position traffic signal. (I encourage you to read more about Garret Morgan, he had a truly amazing life. He also invented a smoke hood, credited with being the precursor to the gas masks used in World War I – in 1916, he used his invention to save workers trapped in a water intake tunnel located under Lake Erie.)  

But I digress, as is my way.

My point is, Mr. Morgan invented the modern traffic light 100 years ago, but it still operates differently everywhere you go – even from one side of the town to the other.

Let's say you pull up to a red light in the left turn lane. Will you:

• Get a green arrow?
• Have to wait for the next cycle because you pulled up too late to activate the turn arrow?
• Get the arrow before or after oncoming traffic?
• Not get a left arrow at all because the traffic light is an asshat, meaning you have to pull into the intersection and hope oncoming traffic stops when the light turns red so you can turn left without getting t-boned.

While I'm venting my spleen, I'd like to add that untimed lights are a huge nuisance. If you're driving along a major road, the lights should be timed so you can maintain a steady speed and make them all – or stop just once or twice, not at every other one. 

One more request, please? Can all the walk/don't walk pedestrian signals operate in the same fashion? The countdown kind that get to zero when the light changes are the best, because when you see them, you can gauge whether to brake or goose the gas to get through before the traffic light changes.

Well, another First World problem rant has been laid to rest. 

I'm sure you're all as glad as I am to have that over with!

Photo attribution: Atlantic Training  CC BY-SA 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons