Pillow Talk

What to do with the Target gift card I received from my sister as a birthday present? So many possibilities!

I'm not sure where the idea came from – possibly the spirit of my grandmother who swore by hers – but I got the notion to acquire a body pillow.

To the uninitiated, a body pillow is exactly what it sounds like. It's a pillow the size of a short person (hold the wisecracks, please) and it helps you sleep. It's purported to be good for people who have pain in the back, hips and knees, relieving pressure and discomfort.

Off I went to Target.com to see what they had. I read a few reviews first, and learned that an all-memory-foam version was like sleeping with a sandbag. Hard pass there. The better option seemed to be a combination of shredded memory foam and fiberfill. So, I chose a model that seemed to fit the bill, hit the "buy" button and waited for my Fed Ex package to arrive.

Oh the glee that awaited that fateful package! Mr. Ginley helped me drag the box from the porch to the living room, where I extracted my prize. 

As I struggled to pull the pillow from its protective plastic covering, the thought occurred to me that perhaps this model was a little larger than what was required for the job. I quickly brushed this thought aside. It would be just fine.

That night, I was most anxious to give it a go. I stretched out the pillow and positioned myself next to it. The instructions I'd seen online said to hug the top part of the pillow to oneself and position the bottom portion between one's knees.

Okay, here goes.

It was like hugging a whale. Let's see if I can tame this thing. I threw my leg over the top of it, waiting for it to sink in. Sadly, my knee bobbed atop the pillow like a pool noodle. I shifted, trying to push my leg over the top. I did manage to get it partially over, but alas, my my foot merely dangled uselessly on the other side. 

Hoping that I had somehow botched the effort on the first try, I shifted up and back. For awhile, I managed to sleep, but when I awoke, my joints chided me for forcing them into such an awkward position.

Yet again, hope triumphed over experience, and I repeated the pillow shimmy the following night with similar results. 

Back to the Google I went to do a little more research. That's when I learned that simply hugging the pillow can trigger the release of oxytocin* in your brain. This supposedly alleviates pain and stress and gives a boost to one's immune system.

My hope is that, perhaps, after repeated "hugs," my sleep buddy will smoosh down just enough for my knee to scale it so I can achieve the desired position and bring relief to my joints.

I suppose that, if all else fails, it will make a wicked fancy cat bed.

*Not to be confused with oxycontin, which is something else entirely.