Losing My Garbles

The realization has dawned on me that I've become Emily Litella. 
But then, so has Mr. Ginley.

It's no surprise that one's ability to hear wanes over the years. Talking from room to room simply doesn't work, and the two of us have tried to change old habits by waiting until we're close by to ask a question or impart a bit of important information. Otherwise, the speaker risks the listener misinterpreting or missing the conversation altogether.

"We're having cashier's chicken for dinner?" I'd hear after Mr. was told what was on the menu that night. Or "You want me to grab your what?"

While we're able to josh one another, the whole issue of not being able to hear things correctly is truly frustrating. 

Fortunately, there's closed captioning. Most DVDs and TV shows have them, which is a godsend, especially when we're viewing British  shows. It's nice not to have to reverse and rewatch recorded shows. Or turn the volume up to ear-splitting levels (which doesn't help when actors mumble).

Comparing notes with my siblings, I've discovered they, too, have the subtitles turned on. 

None of this is surprising. What is, however, is that I recently learned 50% of viewers use closed captioning on their television – and this includes the majority of young folks.

Say what?

It turns out the reason for the increase in subtitle usage is the poor sound quality on televisions and streaming apps.

Televisions used to have those big old speakers on the front that boomed the sound out to you. Nowadays, in an effort to make slimmer, sleeker TVs, the speakers are hidden at the bottom or behind the TV – not optimal for hearing purposes. 

As for streaming apps, there is a technical reason why the sound sucks. I read an article in the New York Times about it, and you can look it up if you want to. The upshot is, the sound on apps isn't regulated the way it is on network TV, so there are wild inconsistencies from one streaming service to another. And the streaming process itself presents challenges to the way sound is rendered.

You can remedy this somewhat by purchasing a speaker for your television, which will make the sound louder but not more intelligible. If you want to know what mumblers are actually mumbling, you'll need to activate your closed captioning.

The downside to this, as I have discovered, is that you're reading a movie rather than watching it. So you miss a lot in the way of subtle facial expressions and visual details. It can be difficult to immerse yourself in a film when you're trying to discern whether the actor just said "I married a woman with four children" or "I married a woman for children."

The real problem, as I see it, is there's too much violins on television. And not enough Emily Litella. 

Still missing you, Gilda Radner...

photo attribution: Original cartoon created by Van Beuren Studios, captioning created and added by the uploader Torindkflt, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons