Who's That Mascot?

"Slider reminds me of Baby Huey," I remarked recently on a chat with coworkers.

public domain image of wtf is this mascot

I am probably going to roast for saying this, but the Indians' mascot, who will remain with the team after it becomes the Guardians, is not my favorite: a big pink muppet with a nose like a furry casaba melon. I'm not sure if Slider or Phillie Phanatic came first, but I suspect they are somehow related. (Phillie, by the way, was at the top of the list of most popular mascots, according to NBC Sports.) 

To be fair, I'm not a fan of mascots at all. Many of them just seem creepy to me. I think about what's going on inside that suit, some sweaty person bounding around, cannoning t-shirts at fans and whipping small children into a frenzy, and I just can't muster a lot of affection. 

I do have one question: What prompts a team to take on a live mascot?

I thought it would be interesting to assemble a list of some of the more well-known mascots. Just to clarify, I'm only talking about the ones that are in a suit, so this doesn't include the Notre Dame Leprechaun or Georgia's real-life bulldog:

• OSU's Brutus Buckeye: This is one of the weirdest mascots, to be sure, considering a buckeye is an inanimate object. 

• Akron University's Zippy: Okay, I will concede this guy is pretty cute. Maybe because he reminds me of Saturday morning cartoon characters from my childhood.

• Padres' San Diego Chicken: This was listed as the second most popular mascot by NBC Sports. This giant chicken-headed mascot debuted in 1974. No cute factor here. Maybe it was KFC fans stuffing the ballot box?

• The Mets' Mr. Met: Not many points for name originality, but he is pretty cute. Also, he gets props for likely being one of the first MLB mascots, with roots that go back to 1963.

• Kansas City Royals' Sluggerrr: Apparently, they had to add the extra "rrr's" because this critter is supposed to have some kind of Lion King vibe. It loses its jungle cred, however, by having a built-in crown in its head. The crown looks like a series of upward-facing stalagtite-like tonsils – stalagtonsils? I can't imagine what illicit substance was present at the creation of this guy.

• Montreal Canadiens' Youppi!: Montreal's version of Slider, his name means "Yippee!" in French. Youppi! is a carryover from the Expos. 

So, why have a mascot? It's a way to bring kids to the ballpark, I suppose. That and the nachos. As an added bonus, kids can clamor over one another trying to get one of the free cheapo t-shirts the mascot shoots out of a cannon. The big kids can join in on this, too. Plus they have beer and selfies, so there's something for everyone at a professional sporting event. 

Besides, it's too loud to talk about the game with the person next to you. 

So what else are you going to do at a ballgame?