Passing Amusements

They're replacing the Antique Car Ride at Cedar Point. With a restaurant. Another vestige of my childhood down the crapper.

For the uninitiated, the antique cars ran along a set of metal tracks. You "steered" the car and hit the gas to go. There was no brake – the car stopped when you lifted your foot off the gas pedal. 

Granted, I haven't been to Cedar Point in years. All the same, it was nice to know that the antique cars were there, teaching a new generation of youngsters how to rear end their siblings to make their heads snap back. And yes, it was worth it, even if your folks were standing by the sidelines yelling your name and telling you to knock it off.

In all likelihood, I probably wouldn't recognize Cedar Point anymore. Amusement parks are all about the coasters. Ya, I did my share back in the day, but I liked the sky buckets better (unlike Mr. Ginley who was terrified of the height.) I also enjoyed the real steam train that ran between Frontier Land and the rest of the park. 

Anyone of a certain age will tell you the Frontier Paddlewheel Boat Ride featured little tableaus along the riverbank, with a cabin "on fire" and a "bear" chasing a guy onto the roof of his house. My friend, Axel, has some footage from that boat ride that's pretty solid. CP probably got the idea for this from our friends at Disney, who used a lot of these techniques in the early Disneyland days – before they got all jiggy with modern technology.

And now the antique cars are gone, too, as well as the Turnpike Cars, a racier version of the same genre, which featured convertible mini MG-look-alikes. (Who knew MGs could get smaller?) I was so cool behind the wheel of one of those little beauties. 

Other rides that are just a memory include the Space Spiral (a revolving glass cylinder that rose to give you a view of the whole park); Shoot the Rapids, a tame water ride that gave you a soak, which was a boon on hot summer days; and the Sky Slide, for which you'd haul a burlap sack up a LOT of stairs, then choose a lane, plant your seat on the sack and race your siblings down a hilly track to the bottom.

In my earliest Cedar Point memories, each of us kids got an equal number of tickets (much like the dinnertime "1-porkchop apiece" rationing system my mother employed). A few years later, CP came out with bracelets you had to show to ride the rides. My parents, who didn't care about the rides (except the train and overhead buckets), would spend the day watching the shows that the summer college kids performed. Then they would meet us for the picnic lunch Mom had prepared and left at the picnic site. (Hot dogs and baked beans and potato salad.)

Aside from magically appearing for lunch, my oldest siblings would scram, while my sister, Denise, got stuck with me and Paul (when he was old enough to do the rides). We usually spent some time in the Arcade, too, playing (or watching others master) pinball games and Skeeball.

Ah, well. We all move on to big people cars and SUVs and mini-vans. 

Still, I'm a little sad to know I won't be able to watch my future/potential grandchildren slam into each on the Antique Car ride.

I sure hope Memphis Kiddie Park doesn't go away anytime soon.