Wascally Whittington

I feel compelled to remind any timid readers that my prose strays into the macabre from time to time. If you're not in the mood for dark humor, feel free to take a pass today.

I admit that I pay a lot more attention to death notices than I used to. 

public domain photo

Maybe it's because I know that I'm edging closer to the inevitable. I am uncomfortably aware of too many of the folks who have moved on.

Every day, I look for the "Lives Lived" section of my New York Times newsletter. When people are in their 90s, I think, "Well, at least they had a good run." 

Barbara Walters. Gina Lollobrigida. Burt Bacharach. Harry Whittington.

Wait, Harry who?

"Harry Whittington, a prominent Texas lawyer and Republican, died at age 95. In 2006, he was shot in the face by Dick Cheney..."

Oh, THAT Harry Whittington. 

For those of you who aren't familiar with the incident, in February 2006, Harry Whittington and Dick Cheney and several of their chums went quail hunting together. According to the official account, Dick was aiming for a bird but missed and hit Harry in the face instead. Poor Harry's face, neck and chest were sprayed with pellets, and he suffered a minor heart attack. When he got out of the hospital a week later, Whittington shrugged it off, saying, "accidents do and will happen." 

Then Harry apologized to Dick, saying he was "deeply sorry for everything" Cheney and his family had to deal with as a result of the incident. 

Come again?

Yep, Harry gets shot in the face, and he's the one who says he's sorry to the guy who mistook him for a quail. 

Now, if Harry's first name had been "Dan," you could ALMOST understand the case of mistaken identity. (Youngsters, feel free to google "Dan Quayle.")

Yikes.

Harry lived another 17 years, albeit with birdshot pellets still lodged in his torso and cheek. Apparently, he was quite the attraction when he went in for doctor visits. They all wanted to see his pellets.

In the end, Harry did live a pretty good life, pellets notwithstanding. So let's all raise a cup of cheer (should we do shots?) and wish Harry godspeed. 

Here's to the man who went to extremes to turn the other cheek...even though it was filled with birdshot.